This last week has been a bit odd. I found out I was pregnant. I was shocked that it happened so fast and very, very excited. I was so excited in fact that I convinced the love of my life that we should tell everyone. I'm not really sad to have told the world, even considering how things turned out. Two days after having my possitive test result, I tested again. I did this test just to see the lines getting darker faster. Some part of me needed to see that my hormone levels were going up. Though, days had passed since my possitive test there was no line showing up in the test window. At first I decided that since it was still early, maybe it would still take a while... so I walked away. Three minutes passed. No line. Then the 10 minute marked passed (test results after 10 minutes are invalid) and there was still no line. I was shocked. I had been worried about early miscarriage, after all I've been through this literally more than half a dozen times now. Somehow though, I was still in shock. I ran a bath and sat there thinking about how I was going to tell Nick. I didn't tell him when he first came in. After a while I let him know... we thought of all the reasons this test must have been wrong, all of the ways I could still possibly be pregnant.
Over the course of the day I noticed I was a little less hungry than I had been for the last week, and I didn't have to pee as often. In the back of my head I kept trying to explain it away... maybe it was because I ate too much the day before, maybe I wasn't drinking that many fluids. After we arrived home I asked to go to the store, for more tests, better tests. After we came home I went and took an ept. These are supersensitive, I reasoned, it would show up for sure. This test had a digital read out. On one hand it's nice that you can't fool yourself. On the other hand, when those printed words "Not Pregnant" start flashing at you, it sort of feel like being punched in the gut. After that test I felt sort of numb.
I did what I do best when faced with something I have no control over. Research, yes research, is something that brings me great comfort. Even if I can't explain why something happened, I can tell if it's normal for it to happen, how it happened, what exactly happened, etc. It makes me feel better.
Here are some of the facts that I found about chemical pregnancy:
- It is a pregnancy, sort of. The egg is fertilised and starts to implant but dies before it finishes.
-Any pregnancy confirmed by chemical means (either blood or urine tests) but never by ultra sound, that then fails is considered a chemical pregnancy.
-Several things can make it happen, hormonal imbalance, genetic anomalies, unadequate uterine lining, among others.
-Doctors quote numbers between 50 and 75% of pregnancies as ending this way, most people just don't know it happened.
-Some doctors say every woman will experience this in her life time, most just won't know it.
-If you don't take an early detection test you will most likely never know about this happening.
I know that from here on out I will be avoiding taking tests early. I will wait until I am late, because at that point the chances of a healthy pregnancy are much, much higher. I also am trying some natural aids that are supposed to help people who have experienced multiple chemical pregnancies. (Who knew there even was such a thing?) If it doesn't help over the next few months then I guess it will be off to the doctors for me.
I also wanted to add a link to another blog today. This is for my friends little girl who has some serious health problems. Please check it out. autumnsstory.blogspot.com